“doctor, i have an ear ache.”2000 b.c.-”here, eat this root.”1000 b.c.-”that root is heathen, say this prayer.”1850 a.d.-”that prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”1985 a.d.-”that pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”2000 a.d.- “that antibiotic is artificial, here,eat this root!”
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A woman named Jill stood up at her church’s Testimony Meeting, or as somechurches call it, “Cry Sunday,” one Sunday morning, took the microphone from oneof the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation.“I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, has sufferedthis past month. He was [...]
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Teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his sheep. It was fascinating.”The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating.”Sally raised her hand. She said, [...]
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A German asks a prostitute for sex and she tells him it’s 20 dollars. “Fine” he says, “but I’m a bit kinky“. She agrees that this is OK as long as he doesn’t do anything violent. They get back to her flat and he gets out four big springs attached to some straps. “I want [...]
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Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite [...]
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At the church’s husband’s marriage seminar, the Priest asked Luigi, on his upcoming 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Luigi replied to the audience “Well, I’v-a tried to treat-a her well, spend-a da money on [...]
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A young businessman had just started his own firm. He’d rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures [...]
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Tommy and Wendy are so in love. They are so in love that as a testament to his love for her, Tommy decides to get a tattoo of Wendy’s name on his penis. When flaccid, you can just see the W and the Y. They are so in love, they decide to get married. Wendy [...]
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